GOP Senator Privately Admits Tax Cuts Make the Wealthy Lazy

GOP Senator Privately Admits Tax Cuts Make the Wealthy Lazy
By Don Davis

GOP Senator Jon Kyl, who along with his fellow party cretins has blamed unemployment benefits for unemployment, was caught in an embarrassing betrayal of conservative dogma today, when he acknowledged that continuation of the Bush-era tax cuts will only incentivize the wealthy to slack off.

Kyl, who thought television cameras and microphones were off during a taping of the new FOX News Sunday morning program, This Week in 1931, cackled heartily as he was overheard saying “if our rich friends who bankroll our campaigns get to keep their windfall tax cuts, they won’t even bother to get off their fat asses to to clip their bond coupons.”

Kyl further “gave away” his real beliefs by adding, “if we really wanted to spur growth and job creation, we’d double taxes on the super-rich; after all, just to maintain their lifestyle of luxury houses and boats, they’d have to work twice as hard.”

To make matters even worse, Kyl expressed amazement that “Democrats buy the bullshit about even more favorable tax rates for capital gains on passive investments.” “After all,” Kyl added, “if low tax rates are supposed to encourage and reward hard work, how are lower tax rates supposed to incentivize doing nothing?”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell hastily called a press conference to claim that Kyl had been out in the Arizona sun too long, apparently unaware that the sanity of his entire party had been adversely affected by the very global warming that they vehemently deny.